Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
