You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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