At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
