i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
