His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
