I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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