This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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