she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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