With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
