he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
