her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
