well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
