dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
