I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize