I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
