I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
