Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
