dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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