Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
