he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
