sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
