Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
