Its about making memories worth repressing
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
God, I missed his penis.
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