I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
