I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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