She is in my trunk
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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