My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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