I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
