I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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