some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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