no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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