I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he fucked my hip out of place.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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