She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
MIDGETS
????
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
