i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
