please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
