For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
