ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
