I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
