i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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