What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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