I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
