I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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