im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
