Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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