Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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