how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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