I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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