you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
