So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
