So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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