Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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