You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
