hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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