It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
