Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
