If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i came on her dog
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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