Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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