Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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