Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she pinky promised me she was 18
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
