maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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