thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we should paint friendship bongs
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